Swearing Off Chick Flicks

Why I don’t watch chick flicks…

This. Exactly this. No further comment.

Just kidding. That wouldn’t be much of a weekend post. But let me back up and give this a short introduction.

In 2008, I graduated from high school at sixteen years old. Though I had been doing college work for a couple of years already, my folks decided that it wasn’t in my best interested to head off to a four year school immediately. Since I felt called to ministry anyway (that’s another story), I was content to enroll in a tiny, two year Bible college at my local church. That’s where I met a messy-haired, never-stop-moving, ridiculous-but-awesome kid named Matt. If you think I’m about to say “love at first sight,” you are gravely mistaken. Oh no. Matt and I quickly became friends, it’s true, and then proceeded to spend the entire first year of that friendship making each other miserable. We argued in the most petty ways and generally demonstrated precisely why being forced to spend Monday-Friday, 9-5 (that’s the way this school worked because it was so small) is NOT ideal when you’re constantly sleep deprived and feverishly trying to keep all your homework under control. Don’t get me wrong, we had some good laughs as well, and he was certainly not the only deep friendship I came away with when I graduated in 2010. Having said that, it was a rocky start to a relationship we’ve maintained to the present.

What does this have to do with chick flicks? Well, I grew up watching movies and reading stories that portrayed petty arguments as a prerequisite for romance. Banter is cute and funny and even if you weren’t on the market for a man, it could definitely win you friends. Reality then proceeded to teach me otherwise–that words actually hurt people and immaturity is not the mark of a relationship that’s going to last. That pulling an Anne of Green Gables-style grudge match actually just drives people away and definitely does not raise their estimation of your character. That insisting on your way, or having a humility-war in which you fight over who gets to give up their own way, is actually silly and a waste of time at best. No one likes a “martyr.”

In regard to The Notebook, specifically: I’ve never watched it. In fact, I seem to be the only girl on the planet who hasn’t watched it. Up until this point, it wasn’t really intentional. That “trailer,” however, highlights everything that is wrong with chick flicks. The drama, the stringing on some poor guy, the flippancy of the girl involved as she abandons her man repeatedly. Frankly, I don’t find any of that romantic. If there are real, awful things that happen in real life, no one is glad because it makes for a good story. If a girl leads someone on, that’s a deficiency of character, not something to be applauded–and eventually no guy will take her because he’ll catch onto the pattern. If a girl is flippant in real life and leaves her guy when he needs her to be understanding, he’ll probably walk and be totally justified in doing so.

I don’t know about other people’s relationships, but the last thing my guy wants to hear–like the last thing I want to hear–is “why can’t you be more like so-and-so?” And the last thing I want to be is the chick flick girl. Maybe it’s just the college aged girls I’m surrounded by–maybe I’ve missed the mark and people just watch these movies for entertainment. However, just like with the people I surround myself with, the influences in my life have an affect on my behavior. Like I said, I don’t want to be the chick flick girl–so, for the sake of my boyfriend, I’m swearing off chick flicks.

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