Marriage Advice from a N00b

You’ll have to take what I say with a grain of salt–today is our first year anniversary and we’re currently recovering from a delightful, overly-indulgent dinner. I’m a little nostalgic (“Ooh, this time last year I was waking up at 4am, horribly sick…and by this time we were taking pictures on the lake with -15 windchill!”) and waxing loquacious on my very full stomach (I don’t know what TGIF puts in its mashed potatoes, but they are good).

I’ve heard a lot of people say that the first year is the hardest–expectations are high and a lot of adjustments need to be made. For us, I have no idea what the future years hold, but if this is the hardest then we’re awful spoiled.

I will say, however, that I see other people a bit like mirrors. I learn a lot about myself, and the closer I get to another person the more zits I see on my face. Metaphorically speaking. And now that I’m married, more than ever my “coverup” doesn’t seem to cut it. It’s good. And I hate it sometimes. God has been very good to use my husband to both bring out and balance out my shortcomings. (And my husband has been very good to forgive and love me in spite of myself.)

And the advice from this married newbie: take care of each other first, and also take care of yourself. When life is crazy busy, having your spouse set up the coffee machine after you go to bed or lay out your work clothes for you says “I love you” in a practical way that brief interactions cannot. As for the second piece of advice… well, my mantra has become “I am not upset, I am hungry.” And it’s my responsibility to keep myself out of the danger zone. I’ll leave it at that.

I love the verse in Ecclesiastes 4 that talks about how it’s better to have a partner in life, because then if one falls the other can help him up. Thanks for helping me along, Matt. It’s been a great first year.



Thrifty Friday–Out of Town Wedding

The bride, putting together the wedding cake that she and her mother made.

Three weeks ago, my dear sweet sister-in-law was finally wed to her man in the sunny state of Florida. Their garden wedding was simple and elegant, and all the prep (though crazy!) was actually a lot of fun. Captained by our fearless leader, my mother-in-law, the whole family banded together to tackle the decorating, catering, transportation between sites, and all the many other details. Seriously, it was impressive. We ought to try taking over the world sometime, or something equally ambitious.

I did a couple of fun, thrifty things in my own personal preparations for the wedding. The first was buy a darling sundress at a second hand shop for $20 that was sizes too large for me. It turned out to be a really simple alternation–I didn’t have to rip any seams–such that I’d encourage any sewing beginner to give it a go. While I would consider $20 on the high end of clothing costs, if you’ve got a decent Goodwill nearby you can double or triple your purchase options by learning to take in a dress. Having said that, given that a trip to the mall would have been at least $40 and gas money, I’m happy with my choice.
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Internet Nostalgia & Dating

11797756_1Once upon a time, I was a young teenager and had a different blog on Xanga. Since then, the contents of that website have been archived as the host site goes through a major overhaul. While I can’t say I’m sorry the posts are no longer publicly accessible (word of advice: don’t publish your teen angst), I did decide to track down a post that had been featured on Xanga’s sister site, Datingish.

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