Once upon a time, I was a young teenager and had a different blog on Xanga. Since then, the contents of that website have been archived as the host site goes through a major overhaul. While I can’t say I’m sorry the posts are no longer publicly accessible (word of advice: don’t publish your teen angst), I did decide to track down a post that had been featured on Xanga’s sister site, Datingish.
Not only did I find my original article, but I found that someone else had quoted it on their personal blog in such a way that I believe they may have been impacted by it. Go figure. Nonetheless, on the off chance that someone else would find it meaningful and in the interest of nostalgia as I prepare for the impending wedding, I now re-post it here.
Original Post: June 4th, 2009 (age 17)
I’ve started to notice a trend in popular titles around this community…
-5 things girls should know about guys
-roughly 106 of the basics guys ought to know about girls
-some things a girl should never do to her guy
-20 things a guy ought never to say
-8 things a guy wants to hear
-650 things a girl looks for in a man
-83.574 things that should never come out of his/her mouth
-1,233 things I believe I’m entitled to in a relationship
To be entirely honest, the neat and tidy lists claiming to hold secrets to a healthy relationship seem simple and fun. Everyone clicks, everyone reads, everyone comments taking one side or another. A woman considers herself generous if she finds a few things to knock off her list, and a guy equally so if he can condescend to agreeing with a gal’s verdict. Frankly, it disgusts me.
I’ve always thought, perhaps in the blissful idealism that accompanies teenhood, that relationships at least ought to be based on love. I’m sure many would hasten to tell me that my assumption is correct, and in fact most rapport is cemented on just such a foundation. I beg to differ. I just don’t see it. When I use the word love, I mean mature, lasting love. Grownup love. By definition, “love” should be…
love [luhv] Show IPA noun, verb, loved, lov⋅ing.
|1.||a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person.|
|2.||a feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection, as for a parent, child, or friend.|
|9.||affectionate concern for the wellbeing of others: the love of one’s neighbor.|